I was blessed with a good family. I don't mean good breeding, I mean good people.
No matter what I've done in my life, 3 marriages, 2 divorces; joining the Navy and moving several thousands of miles away; doing the "untraditional" by choosing construction as my career - my family has always been accepting. I've heard stories from friends of their parents/siblings, trying to influence them. In everything from choosing their mate, deciding where to live, what school to go to, how many kids to have (or not have any), where to go on vacation, what to have for dinner. My family has never tried to influence me - when I divorced my philandering husband at 30 they didn't tell me I should stick it out to make it work. When I divorced my depressed and anti-social (2nd) husband at 40 they didn't try and tell me he'd get over it.
I say all this because I have a friend who just married and will probably be going through a divorce shortly. She made a poor choice in the man she chose. And her family has been, all through her life, scathing in their disapproval of some of her choices.
So I wonder, if you don't have a good and supportive family... do the friends you choose become your family? Do your friends make a good substitute for the family you didn't get?
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About Me
- keatime
- I am a middle aged woman, well-traveled but finally settled into one spot, back home in the Pacific Northwest. I enjoy traveling with my husband, playing with my three ratties and seeing my kids/step-kids healthy and happy.
I have to chime in on this post...I think your question is a good one. I also have, "today", a supportive family but never felt that way for years so my friends did become my surrogate family. They saw me through the loss of a marriage, a child & numerous questionable and bad choices in relationships but my friends NEVER judged me, while my "blood" always had an opinion & flippant comment about my latest mistake. Today, I have 3 sisters and 2 who I feel support me and one who continues to criticize and look down her nose at me..the difference is today, I don't care what she thinks like I did when I was younger. Today, I realize her commentary says more about her than me so today, I am blessed to have my friends and family (most of them) watching my back!
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